The other day, I brought the kids to a state park near where I live. I’ve been needing and wanting to be in nature more and felt it would be good for the kids too. Being in the trees does so much good for me, but you never really know what you’re going to get when you add kids to the mix.
Our day in nature can summed up with this famous line: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” (A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickensen)
Having little children is similar to being on a rollercoaster. But the whiplash is due to intense and surprising turns of emotions. One moment, everyone is happy, laughing, joyful. And literally a second later, the world is crumbling and they are having the worst day of their life. You’re always on guard because you never really know what will happen or why it happened.
As a parent and a speech therapist, I have lots of experience with children. So, I’ve accepted emotional turbulence as a normal childhood characteristic. And it makes sense. Their little brains are not as developed as an adult’s is and they have a fraction of the life experience that we do. Therefore, they are unable to regulate their emotions and react in the ways an adult might.
But what about adults, or myself? Why can I not extend myself this same level grace and understanding?
Even though I am able to regulate my emotions better (okay, okay, I’m learning how to do this) than they can, why do I chastise myself when I feel happy one moment and grumpy a little later on in the day? Or think that since I was happy and light yesterday, I should be the same today? As if I’m a robot and should only be feeling one emotion year round.
To expect myself to not feel a variety of emotions within a single day or from one day to another, isn’t realistic. I am a human, after all.
This is one of the things that makes me realize that we really aren’t all that different from children. We act as if we are way better and so much more evolved than they are. But the truth is, we aren’t. Like a toddler, I have meltdowns and tantrums. I can be reactive and angry when things don’t go the way that I want or expect, just like they can.
I’m learning that it’s okay if for me to feel a variety of emotions within the same day. And I must give myself some compassion when they come up.